


Please Don't Jump (It's Christmas)

by blurryghosts



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Christmas, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9067681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryghosts/pseuds/blurryghosts
Summary: Tyler can't spend another Christmas alone. On a cold Christmas night, he meets a pink haired stranger on the bridge.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Dallon Weekes' song. I hope everyone had a happy holidays, even if you don't celebrate anything. Please stay safe !!

Tyler had fallen before, people always say that it's not the fall that kills you, it's the landing, Tyler disagrees. Falls have the ability to knock the breath from your lungs just the same as a collision headfirst into the concrete below. 

Headfirst. That's what all the sites say. If you land on your head you die instantly. 

Tyler stares over the edge of the bridge, he's been here since 10pm, it's Christmas, well it was Christmas, it's probably around 4AM on boxing day now. 

He'd never been afraid of heights, he loves climbing. As a kid he'd be the one to jump the highest on the trampoline, he'd climb the highest tree, the tallest fence. It wasn't scary, it made him feel closer to God. 

Being alone is scary. Unfortunately for Tyler not many people are around at 4 in the morning on Christmas. There's no one to stop him, to talk him down, no cars waiting on the cement below to crush his already broken body. Tyler was alone. 

He turns away from the 50ft drop in front of him and looks up at the black, empty sky above. He remembers watching It's A Wonderful Life as a kid, where the main character wants to jump off a bridge on Christmas and an angel saves him. He doesn't remember much more than that, so much of his childhood is blocked out already... 

He closes his eyes and silently wishes for his own angel, for anything to come and save him. He feels his eyes sting as hot tears roll down his cheeks, thinking about how God has abandoned him has upset him. Pathetic. 

He opens his eyes again. The night is cold and breezy, there are no stars in the sky and it had rained earlier, it's completely silent other than the odd car driving under the bridge and Tyler's frigid breathing. Part of him wishes the wind would pick up enough to blow him off the edge, he knows that even if it did he wouldn't fall, his shaking fingers are gripped too tightly against the railings he's sitting on.

When Tyler's hands start to feel numb, he can see his breath in front of him and he can feel his teeth chattering against eachother, he asks himself why he didn't bring a coat, then he remembers that you don't need a coat when you're dead. Another question he asks himself is why hasn't he jumped yet? He's not afraid of the collision, of having his insides smashed in an instant, he's afraid of the drop. 

When he was 11 he decided to climb a tree in the forest with his brother Zack and he fell. He remembers the split second before the tree branch underneath him snapped, he knew that he was going to fall, and knowing was the worst bit. He remembers the exact feeling of falling, having the air sucked out of your lungs. Like when you're swinging on your chair and fall, but catch yourself at the last second. That anxious, shocked feeling is what Tyler hated. 

He remembers knowing that he shouldn't have climbed that tree, knowing that the branches at the top were too thin, but climbing anyway. He didn't mind the landing, even though his body was smacked against the hard forest floor, it was a relief to be on the ground. 

The fall had bent his arm out of shape though, his forearm pointed the wrong way and had a large bone protruding out of his elbow, bleeding like hell. He remembers Zack screaming and freaking out, they'd never seen bone before, not on something living. Tyler wasn't scared though, it didn't even hurt too bad, he just felt relief. 

Their mother never let them go back to the forest after that day, Tyler still went there without telling anyone as a teenager though, sometimes he'd try to find the tree he fell from but he never could. He still has the scar from when the doctors stitched him back up, Tyler couldn't tell you which one it was, though, because his arms are covered in scars that look just like it. 

So now he sits above a freeway on the night after Christmas, his thin legs dangling over the edge and he's rocking slightly to keep himself warm. He couldn't go home now, not back to his shitty apartment. He can't have another Christmas alone, he can't have another minute alone, let alone an entire year. 

His family disowned him two years ago. He thinks 'disowned' is a bit harsh but it's not false, what kind of family wouldnt take in their son at Christmas? He remembers the look on his mother's face, angry, disgusted. Just the memory makes Tyler want to fling himself off the bridge. He remembers Zack just looking...disappointed, almost as if he pitied Tyler, but still didn't want him there. No one wanted him there. 

Last year he spent Christmas alone, he got a box of chocolates from people he used to know, but mainly cards. None from his family though, not a word. He woke up at 2 in the afternoon, considered drinking but didn't, considered going to church but didn't, and sat on his couch watching christmas movies and opening all six of his cards from people who didn't care about him. 

This year he spent it hurting himself and sending worrying messages to people he did know. He texted Zack and told him he was going to kill himself because nobody loves him, Zack rang him 18 times, then begged him to pick up the phone. Tyler didn't, but at least now he's ruined someone else's Christmas and he's not sure if he can forgive himself for it.

He reminds himself that it was this type of behaviour that got him kicked out in the first place. 

Tyler hears the light engine of a car approaching, there's one every half hour, people rushing home late, people who don't celebrate Christmas, they always drive straight past Tyler. The headlights are bright and bathing Tyler in yellow, he expects the car to disappear but it's seemed to stop moving, the headlights are still on and the engine is still running though. 

The car door opens and a man steps out, he's a little shorter than Tyler, he has bright pink hair and almond shaped dark brown eyes, he's walking towards Tyler and he can feel anxiety spike in his chest. What if he's come to arrest Tyler for sitting on the bridge? What if he's come to tell him off or hurt him? 

Tyler braces for impact, the rocking back and forth increases and he's began sobbing. The man is a few feet away from him now, they're both covered in light from the headlights, and Tyler gets a better look at the man, realising that he looks kind of cute with the light hitting his eyes and revealing their warm honey colour.

The man brings an arm out towards Tyler slowly, as if Tyler was a scared, violent animal. Tyler doesn't feel threatened though, the man doesn't do it suddenly or touch Tyler. 

"Are you okay, man?" The stranger asks gently and slowly. Tyler doesn't know how to respond, it's been a long time since anyone's asked him that. 

"What?" Tyler stutters, his voice is a lot shakier than he thought, his voice croaks and he's barely audible under the rumbling car engine. 

The man takes a step closer to him. "I asked if you're okay. It's dangerous to sit on the edge like that, I wouldn't want you to fall." 

You don't even know me, Tyler thinks. 

The man continues talking. "You really should get down from there." 

Tyler continues to break down. "I-I don't want to." He shakes his head. "Please don't make me." 

The man looks slightly panicked at Tyler's blubbering. "I'm sorry. Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you, but I'm not leaving you here alone." Josh pauses, looking Tyler up and down. "Do you have anyone you could call? Anyone who can help?" 

Tyler shakes his head, but it's hard to tell because he's shaking so much already.

"Do you want to talk to me? I can listen if you want. I'm not going to leave until you come down." The man steps oven closer to Tyler, and rests one of his hands on the ledge, he looks into Tyler's eyes. 

"I can't have another Christmas alone." Tyler says, looking down at the drop once more, his voice is stronger this time, but still full of sadness. 

"You're not alone. I'm here." The man says. "Can I get your name?" 

Tyler takes a deep breath. "Tyler." 

The man nods. "Okay, Tyler, I'm Josh. Can you please come down so we can talk about this?" 

Tyler shakes his head again. 

"Please don't jump." The man says frantically, Tyler raises an eyebrow at the sudden change in pace. "I know what it's like but you have to stay alive. It's Christmas." 

Tyler rolls his eyes. "You don't know what it's like."

"Why don't you tell me, then? Tell me what it's like. I can try and understand. Please." Josh begs. For a split second, Josh looks over the bridge, but immediately averts his gaze back to Tyler in fear. 

Tyler doesn't respond. Josh searches for things to say, tries to bargain. 

"If you come down, I'll visit you next Christmas, and every Christmas after, and then neither of us will be alone at Christmas." Josh's voice has began shaking. 

"You don't want to do that, you don't want to be around me. We'll both be miserable." Tyler throws his head in his hands, he's no longer gripping the railing and is kept up purely by balance, this terrifies Josh. 

"Why wouldn't I? Tell me. Please." Josh offers. 

"My own family doesn't even want to be around me. Every Christmas we argue and these past few years they - they won't even talk to me. They don't want anything to do with me. I'm selfish, they tell me every year. They're sick of taking me to hospital when I hurt myself, when I hear things. I'm a burden." Tyler bursts out, half his words are unintelligible, but Josh understands most of it. 

"You're not a burden. You're not. It's not your fault, they're your family, they should care about you." Josh says softly, Tyler's thoughts turn to the messages he left Zack. 

"I'm a monster. I hurt them." Tyler wails. "I deserve to die." Tyler feels vulnerable, like he's opened himself up, his heart is out for everyone to see, gore and all. 

For a moment, Tyler's balance slips. 

Josh grabs him before he can fall. Tyler yelps as Josh pulls him up. Tyler can feel the air sucked out of his lungs, he's reminded of when he fell out of the tree, but this time instead of plummeting into the ground, he's in a stranger's arms. 

Josh drags him off the railings and brings him beside him, Tyler is plunged into a full blown panic attack. What if Josh hadn't been here? He would be dead, for sure, was that what he wanted? He could've sworn he was afraid. No, that was just the adrenaline. 

He can't breathe. He's collapsed onto his knees, Josh has crouched down to Tyler's level, telling him to breathe, Tyler can't process what Josh is telling him. His knees are damp from the rain. He is falling apart, no. He is intact, he did not fall. He slipped in the same way he did when he was a kid. 

"You almost died." Josh says, he sounds scared too, those words are the same words Zack used when Tyler broke his elbow. Tyler feels sick, he notices it's began raining heavily, how fitting. They're both soaked, because of him. 

"I have a towel and a blanlet in my car, we can sit in there if you'd like." Josh offers, he sounds calm again, Tyler knows its just a facade, he nods to his proposal though. 

Tyler struggles to his feet even with Josh's help, and they walk slowly to Josh's car. The bright headlights make each drop of rain visible, and it almsot blinds Tyler. It's obvious Josh had left the rdaiator on inside because it's warm when they climb in, Tyler's hands tingle as they return from their cold numbness. He notices there's slight radio chatter coming from Josh's car radio, it's almost calming with the sound of the pounding rain behind it. 

Josh covers Tyler in a soft beige towel to keep him dry and warm and ignores his own dripping hair and clothes. Tyler starts feeling a little better, he's still suicidal, but it's a new feeling of being cared for that he's not used to. 

"How are you feeling?" Josh asks, sitting beside him in the back seat. 

Tyler still doesn't really know how to answer. He almost died. He's terrified. He is warm now, almost away from danger, he tries to forget sbout the bridge he was just dangling over. 

"I don't know. Better?" Tyler says quietly, he sniffles, tears are still coming out. "Thank you. For saving me." He says, unsure of if he really was thankful. Do you thank someone who stops you from killing yourself? Do you thank someone who just prolongs your suffering? 

Josh nods. "I couldn't just let you die." 

You could have, though. Tyler thinks. It's what his family did. 

They sit in silence for a few minutes until Tyler's breathing returns to normal, he hadn't even realised Josh had turned the radio off. Instead, he's thinking about what Josh just did for him, and he can't believe it. Why did he even bother saving him? Didn't he have a Christmas party to be at? A warm bed to be sleeping in? 

"Josh," Tyler says quietly. "What were you doing on the bridge, anyway?" He asks, Josh is staring out the window, he doesn't move when Tyler asks him.

Josh shrugs. "Same reason you are, I guess." 

They sit in silence once more, maybe Tyler wasn't the only one being saved tonight, maybe they're both each other's angels. Tyler remembers his prayers from earlier.

"Okay." Tyler says. 

Josh looks confused. "What?" 

"Okay." Tyler repeats. "I'll take you up on your offer. Every Christmas we can visit eachother. So neither of us get lonely." 

Josh almost smiles. The thought of never having another Christmas alone almost inspired him to keep going for the rest of the year, he'd have to stay alive for this poor stranger, and he'd do the same in return. 

"Merry Christmas." Josh says in agreement. 

"And a happy new year." Tyler says, actually smiling for the first time in a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments and kudos!!


End file.
